My brain tumor is back. Okay, it's not really a brain tumor. Not that I know of anyway. It's what I call the searing pain I get above my left eye when I'm stressed. I have two very close friends who have had brain tumors, so I'm certainly not making light of those with actual, not imagined, brain tumors. But mine is so bad it's making it hard to keep my left eye open. After my surgery, I couldn't open my right eye, so maybe my left eye is protesting at having to do more than its fair share of the vision duty.
It started out this morning when I had to try and do math. Thankfully, my TMP is a math geek and was able to help me calculate the answers, but by then, the damage was done. Brain tumor in full effect. Four advil haven't made a dent. Sticking my head in a bucket of ice sounds good, but not sure sporting the "wet hair" look is appropriate. It's not Casual Friday, after all. So suffer I must.
Maybe my tumor is caused by thinking too hard. Not in an Albert Einstein kinda way. Not in a finding-a-cure-for-cancer kinda way. The things I'm thinking about aren't helpful to anyone but myself. Maybe tumor headaches are caused by thinking too hard about things that don't help anyone. Maybe they're designed to discourage such thoughts.
I was in spin class on Saturday. There are usually cute boys in spin class, and Saturday was no exception. But I didn't notice anyone except one riding on the front row, right in front of the instructor. And it wasn't until the class ended that I realized why I couldn't keep my eyes off of his reflection in the big huge mirror for the whole hour. I was looking at him, but the similarities were so striking that I was seeing someone else. I walked by his bike on the way to get a towel and I couldn't help but smile. He smiled back, and he had the same kind eyes I thought I'd be staring at forever. I found myself hoping he'd be at my next spin class. Not so I could talk to him, though. As sure as he opened his mouth and his voice was his own, I wouldn't be able to imagine the one I'm missing is sitting just a few rows away from me in my spin class. No, I'd like to continue fixating on the doppelganger during spin without any complications like knowing his name or anything about him, actually. Wow, I think I might actually be nuts.
Speaking of nuts, Mudder training is going pretty well. I am loving that I'm back in spin class, and not just because of The Clone riding the bike in the front row. It's such a great workout...awesome cardio for sure, but you can't beat it for building lower body strength. I should be able to squat an adult human after a couple of months of this. Not an actual human. I think they'd be too wiggly to hold on to and I'd hate to drop one. But weight equivalent to an adult human. And I'm obsessed with my biceps and triceps lately. It's actually fun to flex now because there's real live muscle there, and it makes me feel all strong and stuff. Not quite Army Strong, but better than I was 6 weeks ago.
There were (hot) Army recruiters at the gym on Saturday, and they were giving tshirts away to guys who were dropping down and giving them 20. My daughter told me to go get one. "You can do push-ups now, Mom." I was actually content to sit in the cafe and watch everyone else do the push-ups, but it was cool to know I could've done it if I'd wanted to. Those pull-ups are still eluding me, but I'm still working out with the bands and strengthening the muscles that will eventually help me do the six I need to do to finish my Mudder. And I was reminded recently the number of pull-ups an Army recruit has to do to get in: 1. Maybe the next time the (hot) Army recruiters come back to the gym, I'll be able to knock out 6 pull-ups for them. Wonder how many shirts I'd get for that.
Spin tonight. Hoping my headache has backed off by then. If not, I at least hope the doppelganger is there to distract me. Yes, I think I am nuts. But maybe I can blame the tumor.
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