I should already have that orange headband and the title of BadA$$ to go along with it, but it seems like, with so many things, life got in the way.
Well, to be fair, initially it was the knee. I really was pretty immobile after I injured it, and then reinjured it trying to see if it was done being injured. I mean, I wasn't wheelchair bound or anything, but running was out of the question, and even my standard go-to spin classes resulted in swelling and pain, and not just the kind people normally get from sitting on those hard bike seats in class. I don't think I could have done the Mudder with my knee the way it was last fall.
But that was the excuse I needed to fall off the wagon with my killer workout routine...and when I fell, I fell hard. I stopped doing just about everything. Maybe a spin class every few weeks. And I missed it--I did--but I didn't do much because I didn't want to make the stupid knee worse.
Fast forward to my doctor visit in January--surgery is recommended, but it is possible to keep training for the Mudder with a few adjustments. Running: probably not possible, at least not without a brace that weighs as much as a toddler and is about as comfortable as running with two 2x4s taped around your leg.
Add in the little experiment I conducted on a couple of online dating sites, and I completely lost focus. That is a separate story entirely for a different audience on another blog.
Anyway, I got off track. Fell off the wagon. I told someone it wasn't just that I fell off...I got dragged behind the wagon for a few miles, hitting every bump and rock in the road until, bruised and bloody, I got up and decided I was ready to get back on. But I'm starting from scratch again, and that sucks, but what can you do? Another life lesson through Mudder Training--you may fall down, you may get banged up, but as long as you're breathing, you can get back up and try again.
So this is me, getting back up, and trying again.
Several little things led to the decision to spend the $140 to register again for the Mudder even with a bum knee. Thankfully, none of them was heartbreak. That sure was a bitch to get through. No, the knee is the only part of me in pieces this year.
Part of it is finishing what I started last year, part of it is needing something to focus on, part of it is wanting to do something most people never try to do....lots of great reasons exist to do it, but it seems that everyday lately we are reminded that life can change in the blink of an eye, and it's really time to go out and live life and not just survive it. I may have quoted Crazy Mel from Braveheart before (it's a long blog...who can keep up??), but his "All men die. Not all men really live," quote inspired me to run a half marathon a few years ago. And it's just as applicable here.
Maybe your idea of living isn't sloshing through mud and running through fire and swimming through icy water and getting electrocuted within feet of the finish line of this crazy race called The Tough Mudder--I really was worried that I might die doing this race last year.
I know now that I won't.
Because I know the girl inside of me who I want to be is a BadA$$ who doesn't mind a little mud, a little fire, a little ice, and a little shock. She's a girl who wants to challenge herself to be stronger than she ever though she could be. A girl who doesn't listen when people tell her she can't do something. A girl whose resolve doesn't waiver when people tell her she's crazy.
I want the orange headband. Because to get it, I have to become that girl.
Alright, enough Ra-Ra inspirational bull$hit for one day...I'm doing this thing. Who's with me??
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