Literally. I'm sitting in my living room, looking up at the mantle clock on the cabinet that houses my ancient TV, and it says it's 12:06. The clocks on the microwave and the stove both say it's 2:15, and my alarm clock reads 2:44.
The actual time is 2:01.
Explanation: I haven't changed the battery in my mantle clock. The kitchen clocks were set based on a guess at the real time, and the alarm clock in my bedroom is set 45 minutes fast so that when it starts going off at 4:45 a.m., I actually think it's 5:30, and I snooze for 45 minutes, and I still get up in time for a morning workout. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.
But why can't I set my clocks to the actual time? Is it smart to think it's earlier or later than it actually is?
Well, changing the batteries involves getting the stepladder out, and taking the clock down, and taking the back off, and actually having new batteries to replace the old ones. The others are much less trouble. But still, they stay, too fast or too slow.
Time is something we all have trouble with. Maybe not as literally as not taking the time to change the time on the clocks. We all tend to look back and miss things that happened in an earlier time. We tend to worry and fear things that may or may not happen at a later time. But do we actually sit here, in the moment we're in, and make the most of the time that's happening right now? I know I don't.
I wish it was as easy as just deciding to quit missing the wonderful things you had in the past and quit worrying about the unknown that lies ahead in the future. I would decide to do that if I could.
Today a rainy day. A quiet day. My kid isn't here, but even though I'm alone, I'm not lonely. Maybe I'm still riding the wave of all the extra endorphins I got from the three classes I did yesterday at the gym. Maybe I've realized that even though I don't have that one special relationship anymore, I have dozens of other special relationships, people that make my life a happy, fun place to be. Maybe I'm finally figuring out that time is marching on and I'm losing it by not living in the day that I woke up to.
As I told my good friend this past week, you never know what's waiting around the corner for you. I wasn't looking for anyone when he found me. It just happened on this marvelous day that I will never forget. I had been at the gym that morning, in spin class, just like a regular day, and after a conversation that lasted for hours, I knew. I didn't get up that morning and have any idea how vastly different my life would be that night when I fell asleep. That was just one day. A great day.
Had I been able to see into the future, to see the day when we'd say goodbye, I would've run, and I'd have missed out on an amazing love.
So it doesn't make sense to lose today because you're worried about tomorrow or longing for yesterday. You never know what kind of great day is on the horizon.
I think I'll go set my clocks. Hopefully, I can find some batteries.
No comments:
Post a Comment