Day 8--another pull-up bar construction rant, with photos!

This is a family program, I suppose, so I can't really tell you how completely and totally frustrated and exasperated and irritated I was yesterday trying to put together this "easy to assemble!  no drilling required!" pull-up bar from hell. 

For the record, I admit I'm HORRIBLE about reading directions that come with stuff that needs to be assembled.  If I can't figure it out just by looking at it, it's just not going to get put together until a male friend or relative can get talked into do it for me.  Sorry ladies, I know I'm supposed to be all girl-power-we-can-do-anything-boys-can-do but really, do y'all put stuff together in your houses or do you make some guy do it for you?  Or better--hire someone?  Yeah, I thought so.

Yes, I know I didn't make my bed today

HOW-EV-ER...this stupid Pull-Up-Bar-From-Hell came with one little photographic diagram with teeny tiny arrows pointing to itty bitty parts and I guess someone less averse to following assembly instructions might have taken the time to study it carefully and lay out all the parts and match them up, etc., etc., blah, blah, blah. 

But I didn't.  I just grabbed the biggest two pieces and shoved them together to make the longest bar part.  And then the picture showed these two curvy bits that screw into the longest bar part, and I managed to get one on right but apparently got distracted --SQUIRREL!!!--and instead of a second curvy bit, I stuck a straight short deal on.  I have pictures to share...let's see if I can figure out how to upload them. 

I really should have made my bed

Anyway, had to unscrew the straight short deal from the longest bar part and attach the second curvy bit, but I failed to notice that the curvy bits had one finished edged and one capped edge (the reason for which I learned two steps from now...), so I had to unscrew the second upside-down curvy bit and re-attach it rightside up.

Meanwhile, the background music playing for my construction project was my daughter's current YouTube infatuation:  that little British boy whose brother, Charlie, bit his finger, set to some weird music.  "Ow, Charlie" [synthesizer beat for one, two, three, four] "Charlie bit me" [one, two, three, four] "Oww!  Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!" [one, two, three, four...].  Looking back, perhaps some calming ocean sounds or Yanni would have been better than that.  I am guessing anything would have been better than that. 

Okay, got both curvy bits on and then realized some other handle thingies have to be popped into the unfinished edges of the curvy bits (see, told you I figured out later why the edges were not both finished!) before the curvy bits can get screwed into the longest bar part.  So yes, I had to unscrew both curvy bits AGAIN so I could pop the stupid handle thingies in and then screw them both back in.

Did I mention the screws look identical but are actually two different sizes?  Ask me how I figured that out.  Yep, because after spending what felt like days using this munchkin-sized screwdriver wrenchy tool thing to tighten up this screw bolt whatever, I couldn't figure out why it wasn't coming out the other end so I could put the little nut there.  Ah, genius, because it's NOT FRIGGIN' LONG ENOUGH.  Unscrew that one, put in the right one.  Let's move on.

Two more handle looking deals, but only one screw left.  Guess I don't need those for anything. [tossing handle looking deals aside].

So according to the packaging, this "easy to assemble!! no drilling required!!" pull-up bar pops right into your door frame with nothing required in your door frame to stabilize it.  Except of course they gave me this little piece of aluminum with one pointy side that I was supposed to drive, by sheer force I guess since the screwdriver wrenchy tool was no help, into the frame of the door.

Blurry shot, but there's paint
definitely missing!

Luckily, my dad has been visiting, so I called him in to help with the wedging because it just wasn't happening.  (Why, do you ask, did I not ask him for help with the Pull-Up-Bar-From-Hell?  Because he broke his hand and is in a cast or I certainly would have!)  Well, it wasn't happening for my dad either, and because he doesn't not know the meaning of the phrase "give up" he pounded on that stupid little arrow thing with a hammer until he managed to scrape a mess of dark grey paint off the wall above my closet door.  Hard-of-hearing in addition to stubborn, my mom and I both hollered at him to stop and he kept right on hammering.  And stripping paint.  The pointy piece eventually broke, so my dad had to stop.  Praise the Lord the thing was made in China otherwise we might still be there watching him trying to wrestle it into the door frame.  Not much of a stabilizer if it can't handle a 30 minute hammer attack, so I opted to go without (as if there was a choice).

TA-DA!!!

Popped the thing into the door frame, and IT WORKED!!  Jumped up to grab it and hang, and I DIDN'T FALL ON MY REAR!  Attempted a pull-up, unassisted, and COULDN'T MOVE AN INCH!!  Oh well, that's for another day.

Today, I put something together, pretty much all by myself.  And even though I wanted to kill the makers of the stupid thing, putting it together all by myself didn't kill me. 

The hard part's over...on to Day1 of P90x...to be continued...