She's just beautiful, the most beautiful woman in the world, according to People magazine anyway. I know some people don't like her, but I think she's lovely. I have been growing my hair out for several years, and the longest layers have almost made it to my waist. For awhile, Miley Cyrus was my hair idol, but now that's she's crazy and sleazy, I've switched to JLo. Her hair is amazing. Plus, she can dance and sing, and she seems really nice to all those losers on American Idol. Her "Dance Again" song is both my ringtone and my text notification. The really cute part when Pitbull says "Uh...Yes" when he's doing his little rap thing. Anyway, she's my girl crush.
So imagine my surprise when the girl teaching Zumba at the gym on Saturday looked like her younger sister. And man, could she dance! I love, love, love to dance, but I'm by no means good at it. I can't drop anything or pop anything or lock anything. I watch a lot of So You Think You Can Dance but I can tell you it doesn't come to you by osmosis. No matter how close you sit to the T.V.
I was trying really hard to move like JLo's Lil Sis, but my goodness, it was not happening. I have to get through group fitness classes like Zumba and my other favorite, Soul Grooves, by not acknowledging my own presence in the class. I do this by not making eye contact with myself in the mirror. I have to pretend I'm moving just like those gifted instructors on stage or I I'd die of embarrassment and skulk out of the gym. I know, I know...no one in there is judging; everyone's there to get a good workout, yada yada, blah, blah, blah. Still, I judge. I judge the ridiculously uncoordinated idiot in the mirror wearing exactly what I wore to the gym that day. She even looks like me, but Lord, that can't be how I dance, is it? No eye contact!!! Keep focused on J.Lo's Lil Sis...you move just like her. You could be her! Well, if your hips could do that and if you were 15 years younger and gorgeous.
Still, I love the class, and I'm planning to keep doing my P90X in the mornings and hitting the gym for some extra cardio at night, including Zumba. Maybe I'll actually get better. I have about four months. They work much faster dancing magic on Dancing with the Stars. I mean, some of those clowns dance like they can't even hear the music. I know I'm better off than that. That Mudder won't know what hit it when I come dancing on through. Hahahaha. Had to laugh out loud at that one. I know I'll make it across that finish line, but probably because I'm strapped to a stretcher. The dancing will have to wait until I regain the feeling in my legs.
So for now, I'm going to work on the strength to dance like no one's watching. (Hopefully, no one is!). And to make J.Lo proud.
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